when, oh when, will my baby finally sleep through the night? It's a question that fuels countless late-night internet searches and often leaves new parents feeling utterly exhausted and bewildered. The truth, however, might surprise you. First, let's redefine "sleeping through the night." For a newborn, this doesn't mean a solid eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. It often means a stretch of 5-6 hours, which gradually lengthens as they grow. Also, it’s important to define “good sleep”. In many Western sleep studies, good sleep is defined as long stretches of consolidated sleep. However, it’s more likely that biological human adult sleep is probably closer to the way your baby sleeps: cycles of a couple of hours interrupted by waking to perform tasks or prevent deep sleep in more dangerous sleep conditions humans have had to sleep in throughout evolution.  Understanding this is helpful, as many Western mothers are particularly affected by their babies' frequent awakenings due to unrealistic expectations. In other cultures, where biological sleep patterns are considered the norm, mothers don’t seem to be too bothered by their baby’s night waking. 

The Myth of the Sleeping Baby and Cultural Expectations

Our culture often paints a picture of babies sleeping peacefully for long stretches, a narrative that simply doesn't align with the biological reality of infant sleep. Babies wake. It's normal. It's how they ensure their needs are met, from hunger to comfort. Protocol #37 from the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM) offers valuable insights into physiologic infant care. The ABM protocol emphasizes that frequent nighttime feedings are normal and essential for newborns. Their small stomachs and rapid growth require regular nourishment, especially in the early months. Expecting them to sleep for extended periods disregards this fundamental biological need. The protocol also encourages responsiveness to infant cues. This means responding promptly to cries and needs, rather than attempting to force a sleep schedule. This responsiveness fosters a sense of security and trust, which can ultimately contribute to better sleep patterns as the baby matures.  Understanding the biological norms of infant sleep, which includes frequent wakings helps parents to adjust their expectations and to be less stressed about what is normal. Western culture's emphasis on independence and early sleep training can create unnecessary pressure and anxiety for parents. Recognizing that frequent awakenings are biologically normal can alleviate this stress and allow a more relaxed infant sleep approach. Sleep training has been shown to elevate cortisol levels even several days after the baby is left to cry. Stress in this very sensitive period in infant development can affect future stress responses.

Strategies for Maximizing Rest

While nighttime awakenings are inevitable, there are strategies to help both you and your baby get more rest. Try to harness the power of daytime sleep. If possible, enlist help from family or friends to bring the baby to you for feedings, allowing you to nap between feeds. Even short naps can make a significant difference in your overall energy levels. Exposure to natural sunlight during the day helps regulate your baby's circadian rhythm and can promote better sleep at night. Sunlight triggers the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone, which helps establish healthy sleep-wake cycles. For some families, bed-sharing can be a way to maximize sleep. However, it's crucial to practice safe bed-sharing guidelines to minimize risks. The La Leche League provides excellent resources on this topic, including guidelines for safe bed-sharing:  

·       Exclusive breastfeeding.

·       Use the cuddle curl sleep position  

·       No smoking by any of the people sharing a bed with a baby.

·       Sober parents: no alcohol, drugs, or sleep medication.   

·       Safe surface: no loose bedding or pillows, firm mattress. Ensure no gaps between the mattress and bed frame.

Perspective is Everything

Every baby is different, and there's no magic formula for getting them to sleep through the night. Focus on creating a safe and nurturing environment, responding to your baby's needs, and getting as much rest as possible yourself. Remember, this phase is temporary. Your baby's sleep patterns will evolve over time, and eventually, you'll both be enjoying longer, more restful nights. In the meantime know that you're not alone in your quest for sleep. You're a parent, and you're doing a fantastic job.